Imposing household rules is a very important component of responsible parenting in order to raise well-adjusted teens. Many young men often find it difficult to traverse their teenage years because of the narrow definition of masculinity that they see in how men are portrayed by the media, and sometimes even within the family. In the process of growing out of teenage years and entering manhood, some young men become troubled teens and experience difficulties cultivating a positive self-image.
Here are a few suggestions for parents who want to help their teens get through such turbulent years:
1. Make the household rules clear - Make it a point to have clear rules from the start, and that breaking these rules will result to some consequences. Say for example that you have a rule prohibiting your son from smoking, especially since this is the time of his life when he'll be more likely to try these things if only to prove his masculinity. If you find a pack of cigarettes in his bag, make it clear that he'll need to face the consequences even if he claims that the cigarettes aren't his. Be consistent and firm about the household rules. Your children will quickly learn to take the rules seriously if they see that you are serious about enforcing them. Remember that you break your own rules if you don't carry out the punishments and that doing so is the equivalent of teaching your child that bad behavior doesn't have any consequences.
2. Base your punishment on the crime - Many parents who are fed up with their children's misbehavior threaten to send them to boot camp for kids or to scared straight programs. The first thing you should ask is whether sending your child to juvenile boot camps is an appropriate punishment for their misbehavior. While troubled teens camp may be helpful in some circumstances, it's not always applicable for all teens and for all situations. Using pointless punishments for the sole purpose of making your child suffer will not be as effective as using punishment that relates directly to their offense. For example, if your teen vandalizes school property, you may opt to use a part of his allowance each week to pay for the damage he has caused.
3. Don't shame your teen to submission - Part of the reason why juvenile boot camps are not as effective as other programs for teens like alternative high schools or therapeutic private boarding schools is that boot camps use negative punishment to force teens to submission. Shaming teens into obedience may work temporarily but it only increases the frustration that they feel inside. In many instances, this does more harm than good. It prevents young people from wanting to form a good relationship with their parents or authority figures. It may temporarily repress the urge to act out, but it leaves the main issues unaddressed and unresolved.
4. Talk to your teen - The very idea of talking to teens may make some parents cringe. It's definitely not easy and it may take a lot of time before they really open up and talk to their parents. Just give them a chance to explain why they did what they did. It may be hard to believe this but screaming really doesn't help. In reality, most teens would rather not have "the talk" with their parents. Aside from opening the doors of communication with your teen, it also helps in deterring them from repeating the offense.
Finding the right
boarding school for your child can be incredibly overwhelming. We help
troubled teens who struggle with depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, anger, defiance, drug abuse, failure in school, laziness, and poor family relationships. Know more about how to deal with troubled teens at
http://www.troubledteens.com.
Loading...